VSCO Girls and Other Middle School Nonsense I Just Don’t Get

And the Importance Of Trying to Understand It All

Middle school. Saying those two words out loud leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it’s because I distinctly remember the smells that pubescent children would leave behind in the hallways. Whether it was from a lack of hygiene or a lack of fart etiquette, frequently having to walk through those invisible pockets of stench in between classes was not a pleasant thing.

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Floating Away From It All

I’m drifting further away. Away from my family, my job, my messy house, motherhood, bills, stress, and responsibility. My soul is in a dreamlike state. My vision is partially blurred by the light and I can barely see my loved ones anymore. I hear soft, gentle sounds calling me into another world. I can feel my anxiety melting away as I stretch out my arms, reaching into the sky and allowing myself to float into the peace that awaits me here.

That is, until I catch a glimpse of a boat headed straight towards me and my floatie.

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2 Months Into Mommy Blogging and I’m Already Feeling the Burn

Literally. Like I actually have this weird burning sensation in my stomach. No, it’s not indigestion or a stomach ulcer, unless there’s something new developing here that I’m not aware of. Perhaps I should look for some Tums…I really do think it’s all in my head though and it scares the hell out of me.

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It’s 75 Degrees and Sunny So Why the *Bleep* Won’t My Kids Play Outside?!

Plus 30 Outdoor Activities That Require Little To No Parental Preparation

It’s only been two weeks into summer break and I am seriously wishing I could send my kids back to school. Like right now. Apparently, I’m supposed to entertain my children during the summer months. My daughter was actually incensed at the idea that my husband and I wanted to do something for ourselves on her first day of summer vacation. Forgive us for being so selfish…

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Escaping the Asylum

A Rare Date With My Husband and How You Can Make Kickin’ Your Kids to the Curb Every So Often a Priority in Your Marriage

I once told my husband that the only way we’d ever be able to go on a date is if we got divorced and each of us went out with someone else. I’d be his built in babysitter when I’d have the kids and he’d be mine on the weekends. Maybe that’s why so many people have affairs, because having someone at home holding down the fort makes it a lot easier for the other person to escape into a new, secret kind of world.

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Who’s Flying This Plane Anyway?

Preventing Your Kids From Hijacking Your Travel Plans

It’s only natural to fret about traveling with your children when you feel they have already seized your home…your life…your sanity. How will you ever be able to endure flying across the country with your own band of pirates tagging along? I have done this. With a gradeschooler, a toddler, and a baby. Alone. Twice.

Insane, I know.

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Shh…Don’t Talk About Spanking, Someone Might Hear You…

Do I really want to talk about this? No, I don’t because it scares the crap out of me. That was my first thought. When I mentioned writing about this topic to some of my friends and family members, they didn’t think it was a good idea either. Spanking is a highly controversial subject and I could be opening myself up to a lot of criticism from a lot of sanctimonious people.

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Swimming With the Sharks…

Or Disciplining Kids, Same Difference

It seems like there are so many things we can’t discuss honestly anymore and how we discipline our children is one of them. Everyone has their own opinions about it, like they do with just about everything related to parenting. Some will take it personally if your opinion doesn’t match theirs and others might become angry or jump on their judgemental high-horse. So, everybody just take it easy and do not do any of these things because I promise you, we will disagree!

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violent and noisy commotion or disturbance of a crowd or mob; uproar: a general outbreak, riot, uprising, or other disorder: highly distressing agitation of mind or feeling; turbulent mental or emotional disturbance. —http://www.dictionary.com

–i.e., my mini-crowd of three children.

Sadie, Jaxsen, and little Zane

I once told my mom that I believed that one day she would find me tied up in my home with my three little savage children dancing around me to some kind of rendition of “The Lord of the Flies.” She considered this to be a high probability since my house can be somewhat chaotic at times. I have no doubt my mother-in-law feels the same way. In fact, she once left our noisy dwelling during a visit and checked into a hotel because she couldn’t handle “our normal.” It left me a bit bewildered, are we really that bad? My children do have a knack for being rapscallions but they are quite lovable, too.

After almost 12 years of parenting, I guess I am still on a journey to find the appropriate discipline technique to make my kiddos the perfect little angels we all dream of. I’ve tried countless variations and as soon as I find one that I’m sure is the right approach, they out-maneuver me and then–checkmate. Oh, and my husband is around here (somewhere), occasionally jumping in once he finds me sobbing on the kitchen floor in complete frustration. However, he prefers to wade in the shallow end while I’m out there swimming with the sharks, trying to figure it all out . In the meantime, these kids make life quite interesting. I figure if I write about my struggles for other moms to read, they just might look at their own kids and realize that they actually don’t have it so bad. Whatever I can do to bring a smile to someone else’s face is worth it, right? It’s my own tiny contribution to society…even if that smile is actually a condescending smirk because at least their bratty children don’t torment them as much as mine do!

war chess
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